Accidents

Well, we officially had the scariest accident ever in our house. Other than the turning blue episode when she was a week old, and the time about a month ago or so that she hit her head on the corner of the furniture...

Today, Kemble rolled off of our (very high) bed. She was hanging out with me while I was getting ready to head to Northpark to meet Jessica, Mamie and Momma for a little shopping. Anyway, I had gone over to talk and play with her for a second. I was also in the middle of choosing which necklace I was going to wear. She immediately grabbed for a long sparkly one when I tried it on, and I realized I'd be taking it off about 5 minutes into the day because she'd be grabbing for it all day, and she's already broken it once when she was a newborn. Anyway, I decided for necklace option 2, so I left her lying on our bed (somewhat in the middle of it) for 2 seconds to go put the other one back in my jewelry armoire. I even thought maybe I should replace the pillow barriers I'd moved to go play with her, but then I thought, no, she can't get to the edge that quick.

*sidenote: this is where, looking back, I confuse myself. A) Since when do I go out of my way to put something back where it goes immediately? Why didn't I just do what I usually do and leave it on the bed, or at the very least, put it on my dresser until cleaning day? And B) When it comes to Kemble and her safety/health, I always, always do what I feel like is the very safest option. I always err on the side of caution. I have no clue why I didn't just put the pillow back like I've been doing since she was a tiny baby - even before she could roll at all.

So, I turned my back for 2 seconds, and I heard "thunk" and immediately knew what happened. I lunged for her, picked my screaming baby up and snuggled her up to me and tried to calm her down while starting to cry hysterically myself. It wasn't until 5 minutes later that I realized if she'd had a neck or back injury that soothing move would've been very dangerous. All of my lifeguard and health training experience went out the window when my baby girl was lying down there scared to death. Anyway, I got her calmed down after a few minutes (it took me hours to calm myself down) and then I checked her pupils, arms and legs, breathing, etc. She seemed totally fine, she was bearing weight on both legs, grabbing for my necklace and smiling, and I didn't see a bruise or even a red mark other than a tiny little carpet burn looking mark on the back of her head on her bald-ish spot.

I called my mom back (who I had been on the phone with when it happened but somewhere in there I threw my phone down) and she calmed me down a little bit and helped me think of everything to check to make sure she was ok. Even though deep down I felt like she was fine, I called her pediatrician's office to make sure there wasn't anything else I should check for and also to ask if I needed to keep her awake (of course it was nap time). They said I'd checked for everything and that it sounded like she was fine, and to let her nap, but if she hadn't woken up after a normal amount of time to wake her up and to watch for any throwing up or pain in her arms or legs.

At first I was thinking we'd skip the mall, but then I realized I didn't need to sit around crying and worrying and feeling guilty by myself all day, so we decided to go. Plus, I figured if something did end up being wrong, we'd be that much closer to the best hospitals. Yes, I think of these things. Constantly. She slept the whole way to the mall, woke up the minute we got there, and quickly became her happy, funny, smiley self when she saw her Grandmomma, Mamie and Cockie (Jessica). We had a yummy lunch together and Kemble and Jessica bought cute dresses at Neiman's. I was glad I had something to help take my mind off of everything that happened, even though still tonight every time my mind slows down, I replay it in my head, which is a nightmare all over again every time. I feel so guilty, and just can't stop thinking about the massive fear she must've felt. I really feel like I've let her down, and that is truly the worst feeling in the entire world.

Fortunately, she is fine and eventually I will be fine too! Hopefully we both learned a lesson to be a little more careful in the future.